Don’t adopt the P!nk mentality that just because you like sports and you don’t want to shop all the time that you’re better than other women. “I’m better than those other stupid bitches” does not empower women (*glaring at Tina Fey*). The problem isn’t that women like shopping and pink and not doing sports on an individual basis. The problem is that women haven’t been given the option in society to be multidimensional and reject those things or try other things or enjoy multiple things. So please can we not act like women who like pink and shopping and small dogs are “bringing our gender down” just because they aren’t like you? We don’t all need to be the same in that we’re all encouraged to like pink and shopping in the same way that we don’t all need to wear business suits and glasses and be “respectable” or whatever. Shit. If we’re all told we have to do our nails it’s fucked up but if we’re all told “you have to fix cars or else you’re bringing the gender down” it’s still fucked up because it doesn’t allow for us to be individuals and have agency over our interests.
neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.
There are two different marriages that I know: cultural marriage and individual marriage.
Cultural marriage is traditional for no real reason, generally heteronormative (though I’ve known quite a few queer couples who act this kind of marriage out as well), done out of a sense of societal obligation or a signifier of maturity (or to get out of one’s parent’s house or because someone got pregnant), and is acted out with no real meaning. That makes me want to hurl.
Individual marriage is defined by the individuals marrying each other. Their personal reasons, their personal meaning, their personal symbols and vows and tastes. Despite my solid doubts that anything lasts, I commend people who have these kinds of marriages.
Nowadays the princesses all know kung fu, and yet they’re still the same princesses. They’re still love interests, still the one girl in a team of five boys, and they’re all kind of the same. They march on screen, punch someone to show how they don’t take no shit, throw around a couple of one-liners or forcibly kiss someone because getting consent is for wimps, and then with ladylike discretion they back out of the narrative’s way.
On the posters they’re posed way in the back of the shot behind the men, in the trailers they may pout or smile or kick things, but they remain silent. Their strength lets them, briefly, dominate bystanders but never dominate the plot. It’s an anodyne, a sop, a Trojan Horse - it’s there to distract and confuse you, so you forget to ask for more.
This is something that’s bugged me for so long, the idea that as long as they have the girl beat up 3 thugs first, it’s okay if the 4th one overpowers her and she ends up being captured for the hero to rescue anyway (this happened constantly on Smallville). It’s cynical executives and producers going “this will shut those feminists up”, and not actually listening to what the complaints are saying. It’s well-meaning writers thinking that they really are writing something different, but not thinking any more deeply about how ingrained the sexism in how they see writing stories is. It’s promotional material and interviews for the movies going “she’s not your typical damsel in distress”, as if we’re asking for damsels in distress just not ones that get kidnapped right away. And it’s ultimately just the same old same old where women are just objects for men to capture, hurt, win, rescue, and have sex with, except they’re a little more feisty so PROGRESS amirite?
Day 19 – How socially connected are you as a Dominant? Do you look for others to talk to about your Dominance either for support, learning, educating or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or…